perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am available for nakedness
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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