absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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