u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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