escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
