can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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