sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
