dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
