We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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