why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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