I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
