Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
