Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
