Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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