Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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