and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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