If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
