i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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