Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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