he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
