My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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