They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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