Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
