hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
