He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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