Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize