Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
