Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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