What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
