we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
