They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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