Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
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Ketchup is God's man juice
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.