I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.