Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(415): View more from California

God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave. http://tfl.nu/thh8

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

We should go out drinking together soon

(734): View more from Michigan

I'm still not going to have sex with you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87

Replies (22) Good night (566) Bad night (1339)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem http://tfl.nu/u45p

Replies (26) Good night (1129) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): and by charming I mean he has a horse cock. http://tfl.nu/nr21

Replies (40) Good night (8720) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday. http://tfl.nu/pumo

Replies (30) Good night (11861) Bad night (685)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one. http://tfl.nu/vil5

Replies (15) Good night (5810) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l

Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp

Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (718)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.

(678): View more from Georgia

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why. (678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/cex4

Replies (18) Good night (2845) Bad night (532)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations. http://tfl.nu/td7t

Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

(773): View more from Illinois

I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t

Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (401)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91

Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!� http://tfl.nu/byi2

Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac

Replies (1) Good night (197) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once. http://tfl.nu/gul1

Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: