I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
