i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
