i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Girls should come with a carfax report
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
