She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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