I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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