a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
