So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
