My room smells like vodka and shame
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
