I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
