Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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