i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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