I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
