If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
