Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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