I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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