i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize