Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
