a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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