I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
