O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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