i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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