jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
