Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
