perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
