It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
