No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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