Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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