those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
birth control should be required to get into college
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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