I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
