some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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