well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
