U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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