Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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