do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
