UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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