Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
