maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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