watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
