Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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