I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
