Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I cut my penus on the lid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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